grandtrashkitten:

philukas:

[Lukas] was a hard character to play ‘cause he makes such an irrational decision because of his sexuality to keep this murder a secret, I mean, who would keep a triple homicide a secret for that? But that just shows the power of his psyche and where he comes from in that closeted place.

Can we talk about this? To me it is really important and bless James for vocalizing it.

THIS IS INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA

Every time I see someone call Lukas an asshole or a shit or a tell him to fuck off, I’m floored at the lack of empathy. 

Lukas is fighting to survive.

I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that. He is literally, in his own mind, fighting for his life. Fighting to keep his Dad who is the only family is has. Fighting to realise his dream of being a professional motocross rider because like in many sports, being openly gay is probably not a great opinion. And yes, fighting to keep his friends, who at 17 are very important to him. Lukas is a terrified kid who is fighting one of the greatest personal battles of his life and we are witnessing it in all its terrible glory.

Philip is everything Lukas wants and everything he hates himself for wanting. Lukas pushing Philip away and then reeling him back in with sweet words and kisses is not him being manipulative or cruel on purpose, it is literally his internal struggle live and in living color.

Can you even begin to imagine? 

The one thing that brings you so much pain and anxiety and threatens to implode your very existence, is also the one thing that in the moment, makes you feel more free and loved and like yourself than you could ever imagined was possible. And every time it’s over and you get snapped back to reality, you feel the loss a little bit more. Your soul breaks a little bit more. You get plunged right back into the darkness and you hate that thing that makes you feel so good just a little bit more. 

You hate yourself a little bit more and you didn’t think that was possible.

Hating Lukas’s behaviour and actions is completely valid. You should. Thinking Philip and Rose deserve better is right. But Lukas also deserves better. He deserves happiness and love and acceptance and to be protected. That has to start with himself and unfortunately, we still have a ways to go.

I’m not trying to tell anyone how to feel but next time Lukas does something maybe try and look at it from his POV. Just asking people to have a little bit more empathy.